[ his toes curl, feet crossing one another as he fidgets in lan wangji's lap and runs his fingers over the hem of his shirt. he traces the seam, over and over, with hands that are so rarely still, toying with counting the thread while his mind and heart flip end-over-end, swallowed by thoughts of lan sizhui who is also wen yuan. all in a moment, he wants to rip the world apart to return to his child's side. the urge to break reality in two to return himself, lan wangji and jiang cheng to their young ones surges within him like the madness that lingers in his soul. it calms, like waves that have rushed and rushed their way to the furthest shores and found their momentum exhausted, because of the solid hand upon him; lan wangji's touch is a firm thing, it is a soothing thing. it stills his body, even if it does not temper the energy of his mind. ]
You say that, [ he pouts, ] but I'm showing grace in my apologies, don't you think? Shouldn't you be patting my head and praising me for my sincerity, instead?
[ lan wangji's kindness is a powerful thing; it speaks to his dignity, the elevation of his self beyond needing reparation. yet, wei wuxian feels the need to apologize to him for things. it is fair, when wrong has been done, or when emotions have been strained, to apologize. that lan wangji cannot simply accept it both perturbs and concerns him, though he has always, always been forcing things upon lan wangji that the other has long since transcended beyond. out of the three of them, he has always envisioned lan wangji ascending to immortality before him. he is pristine, in mind and body --
well. nearly pristine; there are bruises on wei wuxian's thighs and throat, fading day-by-day, that suggest otherwise. they are soft, sore places that remind him of lan wangji's humanity, his warmth. his beautiful, wonderful heart. ( he's so stupid for this man, for the things he has done and the path he, too, has chosen to walk. ) ]
May I thank you, then? For saving him, for loving him in my absence. You're a good man, Lan Zhan - you're the best man I've ever known. In all the lives I've been fortunate enough to live, I'm so happy I was able to meet you over and over again.
no subject
You say that, [ he pouts, ] but I'm showing grace in my apologies, don't you think? Shouldn't you be patting my head and praising me for my sincerity, instead?
[ lan wangji's kindness is a powerful thing; it speaks to his dignity, the elevation of his self beyond needing reparation. yet, wei wuxian feels the need to apologize to him for things. it is fair, when wrong has been done, or when emotions have been strained, to apologize. that lan wangji cannot simply accept it both perturbs and concerns him, though he has always, always been forcing things upon lan wangji that the other has long since transcended beyond. out of the three of them, he has always envisioned lan wangji ascending to immortality before him. he is pristine, in mind and body --
well. nearly pristine; there are bruises on wei wuxian's thighs and throat, fading day-by-day, that suggest otherwise. they are soft, sore places that remind him of lan wangji's humanity, his warmth. his beautiful, wonderful heart. ( he's so stupid for this man, for the things he has done and the path he, too, has chosen to walk. ) ]
May I thank you, then? For saving him, for loving him in my absence. You're a good man, Lan Zhan - you're the best man I've ever known. In all the lives I've been fortunate enough to live, I'm so happy I was able to meet you over and over again.