[ for a long stretch, she's quiet. clinging to him like a lost child, bewildered, overwhelmed. she'd never had this comfort. she'd given it, shared in it, but she'd never had anyone who would just hold her. no one but ben, and he is gone now — was never real to begin with.
after a time, she nods, eager and quickly, afraid that she'll take it back if she doesn't offer affirmation quickly enough. she hadn't responded well to riku's efforts to share his experiences on everest. she'd been startled, then, defensive to hear that kylo ren was the one controlling the narrative of her disappearance. but she wants the connection it offers.
and more than that, she wants the distraction from her own pain. all she has done for fifteen years is strive to distract herself from the pain of abandonment, of loss, of suffering. one distraction after another to help her suppress. she invites this one now, welcoming it into the fold. ]
no subject
after a time, she nods, eager and quickly, afraid that she'll take it back if she doesn't offer affirmation quickly enough. she hadn't responded well to riku's efforts to share his experiences on everest. she'd been startled, then, defensive to hear that kylo ren was the one controlling the narrative of her disappearance. but she wants the connection it offers.
and more than that, she wants the distraction from her own pain. all she has done for fifteen years is strive to distract herself from the pain of abandonment, of loss, of suffering. one distraction after another to help her suppress. she invites this one now, welcoming it into the fold. ]