[ jiang cheng shivers - the movement involuntary as his brother's hand come to rest against his face, his hair, fingers moving over the tightly braided hair at the side of his head. they are still strong - he can feel the strength beneath those thin limbs. he has seen him rend countless lives to dust, to unlife, with a mere breath from his lungs.
strong, yes, but at the same time it feels like that of a stranger; the calluses of his hands are different, the knotted hard flesh against his fingers in places unfamiliar to him - he had held those hands in his own many, many times before, he could not forget it.
it makes him want to clasp the other's hands in his own once more. it remembers trying forever to play catch up with him, following in the shadow of his wake, catching the tail end of a glimpse like a meteor over the horizon, and he wishes -
all I care about is your happiness.
be well, be well, be well.
if he were a better man, maybe, he would be able to say such words. if he were truly his father's son, if he would do something, achieve a thing near impossible - if he had the mind and guts to do it. but jiang cheng still feels the loss keenly - his chest is still an open, bleeding thing, as if the wound of the discipline whip has never closed over. if he were a better man, someone less selfish, he would be able to - might be able to, but jiang cheng knows that he is not.
their sister's happiness rests on them. the fate of yunmeng, its blooming flowers with their lack of luster, the soft pink edges of the petals faded and bleached anemic, is more precarious than ever.
as always, it rests on wei wuxian to come to his rescue once more.
as always, it is he who ends up benefiting, wei wuxian willingly carving flesh and blood to feed these rabid, raving beasts. ]
It is only for a short while, [ he reasons; he voices his hesitation out loud. he tells himself that it is not an excuse. ]
Only for a short while, just until she is settled.
[ jiang cheng is not one for wistfulness, he knows. still, part of him feels the pain of those words; they are to be wed to one another politically, not even for their own gains but for the security of the other sects. because yiling is a power too great to be left to fester and loom over this new era of prosperity after the fall of the qishan-wen. jiang cheng, especially, must be sore over such a decision being made on his behalf; he may be young, but he is a sect leader as well. to be told to marry himself off to a sullied, former cultivator of his sect, a rogue one that is sick with madness... it must sting. it must feel like an insult, added onto all other injuries.
at the least, it does let him know where they stand. ]
Of course, [ away, his hand trails from the braid in jiang cheng's hair. it slides away into the deep folds of his robes, flowing like storm cloud and night fogs around him; unnaturally alive, as so many things in the bowels of the burial mounds were. wei wuxian has always known he is not material fit for marriage; he is a fatherless child, a fallen cultivator, a murderer of thousands. he bears the power of the burial mounds in limb and organ, held together as a corpse would be by the fickle graces of this place. ]
For only as long as necessary, then.
[ they can play this foxes's game, together. ]
Before you leave to tell them of your decision, I want you to have something. It's important you hold it close to your heart, okay? Don't misplace it or leave it behind, you'll make me cry if you lose my gift to you. It's a poor wedding gift, but you can consider it an advance on my meager dowry, future-husband Jiang.
[ it's with deft fingers, slender and pale, that he picks apart the folds of his dark robes. little by little, until the angle of his collarbone is visible and the robes are slack around his torso, the edges of the brand burned across his heart barely visible. there is ribbon there, that he fumbles with, bound to the inner folds of his robes -- and as he draws out one half of the tiger seal, the room smolders with sudden heat. hot and damp, as the depths of the cavern where he had found that cursed iron blade; sticky and wet, the way the inner thigh, the small of the back would become in the middle of the warmer season. he holds it up, before jiang cheng's eyes.
wei wuxian's own are scarlet, the pupils blown wide and dark - rapidly constricting to pinpricks, then back. the focus-disfocus of his eyes is almost hypnotic, were it not alarming how quickly it happens, how eerie it appears as he grows gaunt and fragile while the seal's half is boldly on display. ] Take it. You'll take it, won't you? I won't tell you where the other half is, but you should know that if I need this one, I expect you to be at my side with it, Jiang Cheng. You can't go far from me, for as long as you have this. You'll promise me, won't you? Just one promise, between us - the foxes at Koi Tower can find out, I don't care. I hope they squirm. Don't you?
[ the words are sharp, savage little things. hooks and barbs that he sinks into jiang cheng. ]
[ when wei wuxian undresses, loosening the folds of his robes - when he holds up the broken jagged half of the tiger seal before his eyes, jiang cheng has only one thought.
a stranger.
a strange creature, perhaps, staring at him from out of what had been his brother. it is a monster who gazes back, an unseemly, unearthly thing that is not who he knows wei wuxian to be.
he had always been the scorching midsummer heat and the cool of the river water. he had been as ripened fruits hanging heavily in the trees for them to pick - he had been such things as everything is bright and warm and good, to jiang cheng, and he cannot remember the days without the other at his side, behind him, warm like the very sun that hangs upon the sky.
now, it is like some shadowy ghost that he presents himself to him; he is the dying light of the dusk, the red glow of bonfires stretched across blood soaked fields. he is some sickly creature that has hidden itself deep within these mountains to wait out his time of death.
but jiang cheng will not let him.
call it childish, call it selfish if you will, but he had always held onto the idea deep within him - that one day, he could restore everything that had been taken from him. that he could have everything the same as it had been before. yunmeng jiang, for all its lacklustre withering, has been rebuilt to the smallest panel, to every detail he could remember. all it needs, all he needs is -
his hand closes about the other's. the air around them wavers hot and hazy, nauseating in the sudden turns, but his grip does not waver. ]
I do.
[ jiang cheng had, and always have, been the one with the softer heart, the one who feels the most and for longest.
he breathes out - soft and secret, and it feels less like the promises of old. it feels like a pact, like some contract with a power he does not fully understand, and he tilts his head - he leans up, to briefly press their foreheads together, their lashes almost touching. ]
[ it hangs between them, the most horrendously beautiful thing he's ever crafted; a weapon with a mind all its own, given to its own whim. he does not command the stygian tiger seal, anybody could do that, but it does reflect upon him as the children of echidna look upon their mother - the one that gave them form. the half that he offers to jiang cheng burns, where the other half feels like a cold weight against his stomach, settled low and hidden within the folds of his dark robes until he hides it away.
the command that yiling and yunmeng marry could only come from someone seeking to fetter them both in one another's embrace, to collar yiling's patriarch and bring him and his armies of the dead to heel under the strength of a proper cultivator. even if that cultivator was the remnants of a once-destroyed sect. they'd want the tiger seal, and he was not going to let them have it. not it, not wen ning and not chenqing. they could have him, in his shidi's family register, owned as a wife would be -- but they'd never, ever have him. ]
You really are so precious to me. My wonderful shidi, you're going to make me blush like this! My knees feel so weak, are you going to hold me up? You should hold me up, you're the one who's gone and made my heart flutter! I can't believe they want to waste you on me rather than finding you a proper wife.
[ the words are soft, tucked in the meager space left between them as jiang cheng leans in to his space. he feels the warmth of his brow, the soft flutter of his eyelashes; softly, wei wuxian's fingers find the softness of jiang cheng's throat, stroking down the fragile column to the hollow of it. his outburst of merriment fades softly, replaced again by that more somber, unnatural sheen that grips him. ]
Take it with you, okay? You need to go back and tell them we're agreeing to this demand, show them the seal's half to prove my word, and I need to prepare for the trip.
[ earnest, he has always been. serious to the point of rigidity, constricted by all of what he should be and could be, jiang cheng is no more free of the shackles than wei wuxian is, the lands of yunmeng binding him down as surely as that of yiling, how it sinks its claws into the flesh and coils dark in his blood and narrows, shining slick like oil spill in the gleam caught in wei wuxian's eyes in the candlelight.
they are trapped, each in their own ways. they are cornered as wild animals might, their backs to the wall and the rest of the cultivation world against them who seek to collar them both like this, against and along each other, to drown or rot or tear each other to shreds and they would watch gladly.
jiang cheng does not trust easily. the other three great sects - the only three great sects, yunmeng's faded brilliance obviously not worth being counted upon for much, by them - have induced them to hold a ceremony of brotherhood amongst them, to live and die by each other.
what then, remains? what can jiang cheng possibly do, but to turn to wei wuxian, to live and die by him as they have promised?
in the end, he only has his brother to call upon. in the end, he is the only one he could ask to help.
the hand against his throat feel gentle, creeping down and down along the too-fragile skin to the dip against his collar like some spider, like some snake that coils itself around. his voice too, is soft - soft like some poisoned mist that would choke one in their sleep, and jiang cheng swallows dry, nods without speaking.
he does not stay long, after that. wei wuxian is his ( just as much as he is wei wuxian's, now and forever ) but the air of yiling is too much for him, the dark cloying aura that spills from the depths of burial mounds sticking to his throat. as he steps out from the mouth of the cave and alights on his sword jiang cheng feels that he can still taste it; the metallic bitter tang of power like blood, like steel. the half of the tiger seal tucked into the folds of his inner robe burns and freezes in alternating fits and stutter that has him ever conscious of it.
i will go to koi tower, he has told wei wuxian. i will go tell them. they cannot deny it, not with this. ]
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no subject
strong, yes, but at the same time it feels like that of a stranger; the calluses of his hands are different, the knotted hard flesh against his fingers in places unfamiliar to him - he had held those hands in his own many, many times before, he could not forget it.
it makes him want to clasp the other's hands in his own once more. it remembers trying forever to play catch up with him, following in the shadow of his wake, catching the tail end of a glimpse like a meteor over the horizon, and he wishes -
all I care about is your happiness.
be well, be well, be well.
if he were a better man, maybe, he would be able to say such words. if he were truly his father's son, if he would do something, achieve a thing near impossible - if he had the mind and guts to do it. but jiang cheng still feels the loss keenly - his chest is still an open, bleeding thing, as if the wound of the discipline whip has never closed over. if he were a better man, someone less selfish, he would be able to - might be able to, but jiang cheng knows that he is not.
their sister's happiness rests on them. the fate of yunmeng, its blooming flowers with their lack of luster, the soft pink edges of the petals faded and bleached anemic, is more precarious than ever.
as always, it rests on wei wuxian to come to his rescue once more.
as always, it is he who ends up benefiting, wei wuxian willingly carving flesh and blood to feed these rabid, raving beasts. ]
It is only for a short while, [ he reasons; he voices his hesitation out loud. he tells himself that it is not an excuse. ]
Only for a short while, just until she is settled.
no subject
at the least, it does let him know where they stand. ]
Of course, [ away, his hand trails from the braid in jiang cheng's hair. it slides away into the deep folds of his robes, flowing like storm cloud and night fogs around him; unnaturally alive, as so many things in the bowels of the burial mounds were. wei wuxian has always known he is not material fit for marriage; he is a fatherless child, a fallen cultivator, a murderer of thousands. he bears the power of the burial mounds in limb and organ, held together as a corpse would be by the fickle graces of this place. ]
For only as long as necessary, then.
[ they can play this foxes's game, together. ]
Before you leave to tell them of your decision, I want you to have something. It's important you hold it close to your heart, okay? Don't misplace it or leave it behind, you'll make me cry if you lose my gift to you. It's a poor wedding gift, but you can consider it an advance on my meager dowry, future-husband Jiang.
[ it's with deft fingers, slender and pale, that he picks apart the folds of his dark robes. little by little, until the angle of his collarbone is visible and the robes are slack around his torso, the edges of the brand burned across his heart barely visible. there is ribbon there, that he fumbles with, bound to the inner folds of his robes -- and as he draws out one half of the tiger seal, the room smolders with sudden heat. hot and damp, as the depths of the cavern where he had found that cursed iron blade; sticky and wet, the way the inner thigh, the small of the back would become in the middle of the warmer season. he holds it up, before jiang cheng's eyes.
wei wuxian's own are scarlet, the pupils blown wide and dark - rapidly constricting to pinpricks, then back. the focus-disfocus of his eyes is almost hypnotic, were it not alarming how quickly it happens, how eerie it appears as he grows gaunt and fragile while the seal's half is boldly on display. ] Take it. You'll take it, won't you? I won't tell you where the other half is, but you should know that if I need this one, I expect you to be at my side with it, Jiang Cheng. You can't go far from me, for as long as you have this. You'll promise me, won't you? Just one promise, between us - the foxes at Koi Tower can find out, I don't care. I hope they squirm. Don't you?
[ the words are sharp, savage little things. hooks and barbs that he sinks into jiang cheng. ]
no subject
a stranger.
a strange creature, perhaps, staring at him from out of what had been his brother. it is a monster who gazes back, an unseemly, unearthly thing that is not who he knows wei wuxian to be.
he had always been the scorching midsummer heat and the cool of the river water. he had been as ripened fruits hanging heavily in the trees for them to pick - he had been such things as everything is bright and warm and good, to jiang cheng, and he cannot remember the days without the other at his side, behind him, warm like the very sun that hangs upon the sky.
now, it is like some shadowy ghost that he presents himself to him; he is the dying light of the dusk, the red glow of bonfires stretched across blood soaked fields. he is some sickly creature that has hidden itself deep within these mountains to wait out his time of death.
but jiang cheng will not let him.
call it childish, call it selfish if you will, but he had always held onto the idea deep within him - that one day, he could restore everything that had been taken from him. that he could have everything the same as it had been before. yunmeng jiang, for all its lacklustre withering, has been rebuilt to the smallest panel, to every detail he could remember. all it needs, all he needs is -
his hand closes about the other's. the air around them wavers hot and hazy, nauseating in the sudden turns, but his grip does not waver. ]
I do.
[ jiang cheng had, and always have, been the one with the softer heart, the one who feels the most and for longest.
he breathes out - soft and secret, and it feels less like the promises of old. it feels like a pact, like some contract with a power he does not fully understand, and he tilts his head - he leans up, to briefly press their foreheads together, their lashes almost touching. ]
I will.
no subject
[ it hangs between them, the most horrendously beautiful thing he's ever crafted; a weapon with a mind all its own, given to its own whim. he does not command the stygian tiger seal, anybody could do that, but it does reflect upon him as the children of echidna look upon their mother - the one that gave them form. the half that he offers to jiang cheng burns, where the other half feels like a cold weight against his stomach, settled low and hidden within the folds of his dark robes until he hides it away.
the command that yiling and yunmeng marry could only come from someone seeking to fetter them both in one another's embrace, to collar yiling's patriarch and bring him and his armies of the dead to heel under the strength of a proper cultivator. even if that cultivator was the remnants of a once-destroyed sect. they'd want the tiger seal, and he was not going to let them have it. not it, not wen ning and not chenqing. they could have him, in his shidi's family register, owned as a wife would be -- but they'd never, ever have him. ]
You really are so precious to me. My wonderful shidi, you're going to make me blush like this! My knees feel so weak, are you going to hold me up? You should hold me up, you're the one who's gone and made my heart flutter! I can't believe they want to waste you on me rather than finding you a proper wife.
[ the words are soft, tucked in the meager space left between them as jiang cheng leans in to his space. he feels the warmth of his brow, the soft flutter of his eyelashes; softly, wei wuxian's fingers find the softness of jiang cheng's throat, stroking down the fragile column to the hollow of it. his outburst of merriment fades softly, replaced again by that more somber, unnatural sheen that grips him. ]
Take it with you, okay? You need to go back and tell them we're agreeing to this demand, show them the seal's half to prove my word, and I need to prepare for the trip.
no subject
they are trapped, each in their own ways. they are cornered as wild animals might, their backs to the wall and the rest of the cultivation world against them who seek to collar them both like this, against and along each other, to drown or rot or tear each other to shreds and they would watch gladly.
jiang cheng does not trust easily. the other three great sects - the only three great sects, yunmeng's faded brilliance obviously not worth being counted upon for much, by them - have induced them to hold a ceremony of brotherhood amongst them, to live and die by each other.
what then, remains? what can jiang cheng possibly do, but to turn to wei wuxian, to live and die by him as they have promised?
in the end, he only has his brother to call upon. in the end, he is the only one he could ask to help.
the hand against his throat feel gentle, creeping down and down along the too-fragile skin to the dip against his collar like some spider, like some snake that coils itself around. his voice too, is soft - soft like some poisoned mist that would choke one in their sleep, and jiang cheng swallows dry, nods without speaking.
he does not stay long, after that. wei wuxian is his ( just as much as he is wei wuxian's, now and forever ) but the air of yiling is too much for him, the dark cloying aura that spills from the depths of burial mounds sticking to his throat. as he steps out from the mouth of the cave and alights on his sword jiang cheng feels that he can still taste it; the metallic bitter tang of power like blood, like steel. the half of the tiger seal tucked into the folds of his inner robe burns and freezes in alternating fits and stutter that has him ever conscious of it.
i will go to koi tower, he has told wei wuxian. i will go tell them. they cannot deny it, not with this. ]